I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
