just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
