Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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