she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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