he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
