Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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