dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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