Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
