I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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