That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
