Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
