Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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