hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
