Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
