at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Are my feet made of real feet?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
