Sponge bath it is.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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