Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
