He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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