she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
