So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
