Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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