I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
