why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Are we in a gay sports bar?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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