Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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