i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
