i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
