Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Randomize
