I just made out with a guy for $7.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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