she was so not down for the gang bang
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
