Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
