There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Floor bacon is actually really good
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
