Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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