He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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