bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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