Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
