I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
