yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
