why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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