that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
NoShamevember. You game?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
