so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
