hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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