epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
