I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You don't make any sense
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