one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
