if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
