Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
