dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize