Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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