he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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