He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
