Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
