Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
