lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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