Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Randomize
