Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
