I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
